Self-checkout. What a concept! So I’m scanning my own items, bagging my own groceries, fixing the ‘unexpected item in the bagging area’ error – which, by the way, is usually my own hand – and I’m paying full price! I’m doing *their* job! Am I getting a discount? Am I getting paid? No! It’s like I’m volunteering to work at the grocery store. ‘Welcome to Kroger, please scan your own items and thank you for your patronage.’ And then the machine, it talks to you! ‘Please place the item in the bagging area.’ I know where the bagging area is! I just placed it there! It’s not a sentient being, it’s a scale! It just wants to weigh my artisanal pickles! It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya. They’re training us to become grocery store drones, one beep at a time.
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