Online reviews. What is the deal with these things? There’s no middle ground! It’s either ‘This place changed my life! I saw God in their sourdough!’ or ‘This restaurant gave me food poisoning, ruined my marriage, and probably caused the collapse of Western civilization.’ One star or five stars. No three-star reviews that say, ‘It was fine. The food was okay. The service was adequate.’ Where are the ‘it was just average’ people? Are they too busy living their average lives to post an average review? It’s like a drama club for consumers. Everyone has to be an actor, either praising the chef as a culinary deity or accusing them of culinary crimes against humanity. Can’t a sandwich just be a sandwich anymore? Does it have to be an ‘epiphany in bread form’ or ‘a crime against my digestive system’?
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